transcripts from the two of the game of thrones season five audition tapes: obara martell & tyene martell. spoilers for asoiaf/got5, obviously. d&d fuckery included.

(you can’t make me cease and desist this time, hbo.)

(snipped for length.)

OBARA

OBARA: Admit defeat Tyene. Nym’s mother taught her the whip before the knife and fork. Will it be war?

Woman Off Camera: Prince Doran will weep for your father but nothing else. We must avenge Oberyn ourselves.

OBARA: Without Doran we have no army to march against the Lannisters.

Woman Off Camera: We don’t need an army to start a war. Queen Cersei loathes everyone and we are one of them.

OBARA: Now you may have a problem.

Woman Off Camera: What’s that?

OBARA: A ship’s captain came to me in Plankytown claiming to have information to sell. I paid. He told me he smuggled Jaime Lannister into Dorne. Now he paid.

Woman Off Camera: The Kingslayer did not go to Prince Doran?

OBARA: No, they rode him ashore in secret.

Woman Off Camera: Why? He did not know. You must chose Doran’s way and peace or my way and war.

OBARA: When I was a child. Oberyn came to take me to court. I had never seen this man before yet he called himself my father. My mother wept and said you are too young and a girl. Oberyn tossed his spear at my feet and said girl or boy we fight our battles but the gods let us chose our weapons. My father pointed to the spear and to my mother’s tears. I made my choice long ago.

TYENE

TYENE: He has a good voice.
OBARA: He’s a singer, if he was a fighter we might’ve been in trouble.
BRONN: It’s against my code to hurt women.
OBARA: It’s amazing how many men we beat seem to have this code.
BRONN: I wouldn’t say you beat me.
TYENE: And how is your arm?
BRONN: Wonderful. Wouldn’t feel right to leave Dorne without a new scar.
OBARA: You think you’re leaving Dorne?
BRONN: No great hurry. Dornish women are the most beautiful in the world.
TYENE: Thank you.
BRONN: I said Dornish women, I didn’t say you.
TYENE: I’m not the most beautiful woman you have ever seen?
BRONN: I’ve seen quite a few women in all the Seven Kingdoms.
TYENE: Tell me one woman more beautiful than I am.
BRONN: Well, now in King’s Landing there was an absolute…
TYENE: There was a what? In King’s Landing you were saying…
BRONN: Was I?
TYENE: …there is a woman more beautiful than I am.
BRONN: Was there? My memory’s not what it was earlier.
TYENE: And how is your arm now?
BRONN: You seem concerned with it. You must really like me.
TYENE: And how is your head?
BRONN: My head? You don’t even want to know what’s going on in there.
TYENE: What was that, are you sure you’re feeling alright?
BRONN: Sure, a bit woozy but that’s to be expected after a good dust-up.
TYENE: Your nose is bleeding.
BRONN: It’s not it’s the dry air.
OBARA: My dagger was coated with a special ointment from Asshai. It’s called the Long Farewell. It can take some time to work some times several days. But if one single drop makes contact with the skin…death.
TYENE: The only antidote. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world? Who? Who, sorry?
BRONN: You.
She takes whatever the antidote it is from or off of her necklace and gives it to him.
TYENE: Don’t drop it. I think you’re very handsome as well.
She blows him a kiss and laughs.

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